marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I need water and some morals
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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