Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
