Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Sorry about my life...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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