Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
