I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
