Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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