five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
