i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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