i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
