I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
