well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm both gender and math confused
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