I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
