Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
