I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
