You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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