if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
