Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
