imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
