he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
