So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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