He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
