He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Send help, water and tortillas.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
