Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
