There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
