Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize