Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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