i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
