I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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