you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
