8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
