We won't sleep together?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
