Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
