I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
