can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
