So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
