Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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