The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
