i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
