I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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