...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he puts the penis in happiness.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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