Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
