Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
