Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
