I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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