he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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