So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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