In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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