What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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