oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
