Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I must be too annoying 4 u.

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(410): View more from Maryland

To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore

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(402): View more from Nebraska

i got excepted to unl lol

(402): View more from Nebraska

You mean "accepted".

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(704): View more from North Carolina

He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.

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(916): View more from California

Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.

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(219): View more from Indiana

The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big

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