C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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