Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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