Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
