Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
