so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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