I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
