I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
