We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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