oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
