I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
