Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
