i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
