I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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