At least make sure they are 18
Why
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
